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Back to myself(PLEASE PLEASE READ) posted Jul 10th 2009, 4:38PM

Mood:

Music: I Hate My Life- Theory Of a Deadman

Fist of all lemme say this, most of the people on here(the people that are involved in the drama) go on DA. D = first letter in Drama, A= last letter in drama. Ha, coincidence. You know, *sighs and shakes head* Drama sucks. And let me say this. I am a DRAMA QUEEN! I know I am

I'm not gonna continue ranting, I just wish people knew how to keep secrets. You know? It's not that damn hard to keep your mouth shut. But all I can say, is in all the recent drama, somebody kicked me out of their lives and would you believe it or not, the next day, I woke up with he feeling in my heart that I KNEW who I was. I haven't had that feeling in almost two months. People, they change. I recently have no idea who I was. The trouble making, problem causing, hater, friendship breaker, drama causing, overreacting,fight causing bitch.Thats not me. The night she kicked me out of her life, I went to bed and lay down, looking up at the ceiling and starting to think, as usual. I felt this pain in my heart, an ache in my chest, guilt eating away my insides. I lay there, eys watering, I told myself not to cry and then my voice filled my head, "What have I done?" I held my hands together on my stomach, slowy taking my left one and grabbing the skin on my stomach and holding it. I swallowed hard and thought, "Who have I become? What have I done?" I felt a strange pain inside of me, whichI realized was the tearing of my soul, changing back to theway it used to be."What have I done? I have never been the person to cause all thes problems, never ever ever. What happened to the sweet, non troubling, slighty bitchy,hard headed, headstrong, kind, non overreacting girl I used to be? I sighed, feeling tears roll down my cheek. Guilt flamed up, tearing at my heart, torching the edges. I stroked back my hair, wishing Brooke was here. Some peope would think I was insane for telling my dog my problems, but, she listened, she really does. She understands what I'm saying. I would lay behing her, resting my had gently on her furry back, and start talking, soon, tears streaming down my face, falling into her fur. She knew something was wrong she knew I was sad. She would turn around and lick my face, giving me the kind of comforting look a bst friend or a good mother would. Sh WANTED to listen to what I had to say. She cared. Brooke was the best example of a faithful friend there was. Understanding, secret keeping, comforting, caring, loving, always thee for you, always kow how to make you feel better. She did, she really did. I loved that dog so much. I wished she was here again, so se would lay by me and give me that understanding look, and let me thread my fingers through her fur. "I can't believe what I've done, I can't believe the things I said and did, it's like another person was inside me, like Iwas a puppet, being controlled by strings, bu I wasn't sure who was holding the strings."I stopped and wiped the tears from my eyes and then continued thinking, " Nobody would believe me if I said that nobody will forgive me, nobody nobody nobody. Nobody would listen to what I have to say. Sorry isn't enough anymore, but I had o clue what in the hell to say. Maybe it was better off to not say a word." Then, I closed my eyes, andfel asleep. When I woke up the next morning, I had the same feeling in my heart that I ad when I was the REAL me. I was back, back to the person I really was. But would anybody belive me?
Now,honestly, my traits are the following:
1) Fiesty
2) Headstrong
3) Free willed
4) Independent
5) Hard headed
6) Sweet
7) Gentle
8) Easy going(eh, does't cunt all the times, just when I'm extremely tired)
9)Hyper
10) Wild
11) Non bitchy
12) Non complaining.
I'm back to the way I used to be, The understanding, non problem causing, sweet, friendly person. The one that doesn't over react or start fights. Pretty much the complete opposite of how I was lately.

If anybody read this whole thing, you get a cookie, and somethin else later.

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Hey, my name is Eryn, I'm a digital artist coming from northern Michigan. Mainly, I draw horses, but I also do dogs, and am trying humans.I have been drawing since age 3 and it's definitl a passion. I used to be pretty fast getting art done but, not anymore. I get distracted alot

. I'm a pretty interesting person, and don't be quick to judge me because I have alot of different sides of me. I love horseracing and I love role-playing. If you do too, IM me, I'm almot always up for RP'ing, just ask anybody, xD.One thing to know about me, I have a very dirty mind, an turn alot of things people say into something dirty. I love listening to music and bein with friends. My favorite bands are Nickelback,Seether,Saving Abel, and Theory Of a Deadman. I like a variety of music, but mainly rock. I won't lie to you, I'm crazy,hyper,and wild. I own alot of animals which you'll probably see in photos on here. I think thats about all for- Oh yeah!- I am a huge nightperson, I tay up till 5am and sleep till 2pm, xD, I can't help who I am!Also, I'm headstrong, I don't give up easily, I also am NOT afraid to speak my mind, even though it might cause hell, I don't care. But, let that make you afraid of me, xD, I'm a very approachable person, got a question? Just ask.